His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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