Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
