dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
