your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
