About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
