when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
