Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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