drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
FUCK WHALES
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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