Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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