I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
