I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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