i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Randomize
