SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
