i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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