You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
