Absence makes the cock grow harder.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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