I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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