jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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