We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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