Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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