just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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