So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
