Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
