So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize