I think I died a long time ago.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
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