i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize