I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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