We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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