Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
