I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
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I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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