If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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