You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
