My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
