You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
