Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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