I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
