Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
