He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
