I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
