Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
