The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
