You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
