we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
