you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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