I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
