whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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