never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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