how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
