marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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