Me. At least after what I've been through.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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