please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
