at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
