I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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