She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
