No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
