i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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