She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
