i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
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the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
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I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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