No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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