I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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