i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
