Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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