as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
